I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
