I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
