discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
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