I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
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