I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
