do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
