YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
