I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I will die if light touches me.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
