so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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