is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
