chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
