I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
The air was thick with penises
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
