I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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