i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
