Are we in a gay sports bar?
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
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