Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
