Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
