And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
