I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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