I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
