I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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