YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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