I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
