got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
