Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
