I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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