with your own penis?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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