hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
