so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
