Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
