If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
