It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
