so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
