Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
