Define "chronic" masturbator.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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