if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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