I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
