if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
