I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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