I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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