I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
