Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
