It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
