..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
