..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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