hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
