Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
