So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
