So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
