thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
